Attitude & determination

Determination is the key to implement any worthwhile project. Determination brings consistency in our efforts. It also motivates us to work hard for a task we have undertaken. Determination triggers perseverance which is an almost essential element in achieving significant success. But this indispensable quality of human being depend entirely on their attitude.

What is determination?

It is the process of becoming resolute, of bringing firmness in your endeavour. Without determination one cannot hold conviction which is essential to convince people. Unless you are determined to follow your path, distractions may attract you attention. You lose focus. In such cases the efficacy of your efforts is bound to suffer.

How is determination related to your attitude?

Your attitude to life is extremely important in deciding your daily performance and how you want to lead your life. Your attitude will help you to set goals which need to be achieved. Each of your goals will require a separate plan of action. It you lack determination, due to your casual attitude, even written specific and SMART goals may become meaningless. Because your plans need to be implemented, these require perseverance which can come only when you are determined to do. The implementation will happen with determination to perform. Thus attitude and determinations are inter-related. In fact, these are intertwined.

People who make significant progress are often called lucky. But they do not know how much hard work was put in to achieve that success. As Colin Powell said, “A dream does not become a reality through magic; it takes sweat, determination and hard work.” Any worthwhile goal or project is achieved with determination, dedication, self-discipline and lots of efforts. Further if your determination is fixed, your efforts are never wasted. Few things cannot be achieved if you have skill, and use diligence.

How determination works?

Determination is also doing. It is not just a decision. It pushes you to do what you have decided to do. it makes you do things what need to be done at what time even if you don’t like it. It is said, “Wake up with determination, go to bed with satisfaction. Whenever you strongly desire to acquire something, you can’t stop thinking about it. Determination tells you that if you can’t stop thinking about it, don’t stop working for it. Road to success is under construction till it is completed. The same passes through many terrains; some are easy but others are difficult. Determination drives you ahead through difficult terrains which happen to be the strength of determination.

Finally, determination enhances your self esteem. Self esteem in turn helps you to make you attitude positive impeccably.

Thanks for reading.

Ragging in Schools & Colleges

In spite of the law against ragging in schools and college, the problem seems to have gone unabated. Some Institutions have taken many initiatives at their level but the results are far from satisfactory. Schools in U.S.A. also suffer this problem. But the reasons there are often different. Children of different races study together. Oftentimes problems take place due to racism. Unfortunately in India too, the bullies have become rampant which results in extremely unwarranted results. Bullied students lose their confidence. Self esteem suffers to such an extent that it lasts years after such incidents have taken place.

Due to the current education system which is a continuation of the education policy by the British who wanted to breed meek white collar workers and clerks the children are not assertive. Many brilliant students who are excellent in their study find it difficult to express themselves. How to be assertive? They don’t even know.

In such a situation, the only remedy lies in encouraging professionals & academies wich have specialised in the area of personality development and other related soft skills. We have a special skills development ministry. Hard skills areas are duly covered in their various programmes. But soft skills do not feature as essentials. Needless to say that it is essential that people must have an appreciable ability to express themselves.

Hope necessary steps will be taken in this direction by the concerned authorities.

Language and speech should be a part of curriculum of all professional colleges. Good communication is an essential pillar of a developed nation. And so, it need to be recognized.

Thanks for reading.

Eight Big Benefits of Belief (Self-Belief)


In life it is necessary to have some beliefs. That does not mean that you need to follow any dogma or belief forced on you. You can pick your own beliefs with discretion. First, let us understand what is self-belief. What are the qualities that it inherits? Self belief is an invaluable virtue which brings great possibilities in your life. Its indications are that you:

i) Stop making any excuses for any reason what-so-ever.

ii) Do not indulge in any negative thought.

iii) Stop thinking that difficulties surround you alone. You do not jump to conclusion and take hasty actions. You express your fears to others without any hesitation, because you keep in mind that everyone has some fears.

iv) You stop procrastinating because that is indicative of your lack of confidence.

v) Stop pursing perfection. Perfection is never achieved. It only stops you from moving ahead.

Once you develop self belief and you observe that you conform to all what has been said above, you will find the following eight advantages coming to you smoothly and seamlessly.

  1. Self-belief enables you to hold strong conviction. All things do not happen the way you have planned or the way you expect. But strong conviction will help you to move ahead without fear of failure.
  2. Self belief also helps you develop optimistic attitude which is necessary today in the wake of fast changing world. Life is becoming extremely competitive. Any opportunity missed once may never come back again. But if you have a negative attitude you will not be able to catch the fleeting possibilities.
  3. Your self-belief also makes you more reliable to others. Thus you tend to build up better relations with others. Your credibility is not question. Since people can trust you they vie for good relations with you. Needless to say that for any significant project you need help from others.
  4. Self-belief also helps you to be focused and self motivated. You no longer take life as it comes. You don’t depend on unknown sources to bring you luck. You carve your own destiny. Self motivation helps you to maintain enthusiasm and interest in life.
  5. Your risk taking ability improves if you start relying on yourself. It is said that there are no gains if there are no risks. Your conviction helps you to take calculated risks in meeting the challenges of life. The tendency to avoid and escape facing challenging situation reduces substantially. You start realizing that difficulties form a necessary part of life.
  6. Further, self-belief enables you to give and receive constructive criticism with an open mind. In the current scenario exchange of ideas and views are extremely important. The autocratic leader is not acceptable any more. So if you want to progress you have to collaborate with others from your own organization or outside outfits.
  7. Self-belief helps you to be more assertive. You start caring for yourself more than pleasing others. Someone said that he doesn’t know any formula of how to succeed. The sure short formula for success has never been discovered. But there is a firm unbeatable formula for failure and that is trying to please everyone. Your self-belief will not allow you to embark on the journey of securing approvals where these are not mandatory.
  8. Last but not the least, you start working on improving your self respect. You realize that if you do not respect yourself, others will follow suit. When you’re in need to raise self esteem, you become more effective and you become more productive. Now, you start managing your time very effectively as any improper or inadequate use of your time will hurt your self-esteem.

Thanks for reading.

Listen to being Loved and be Happy


Loved breeds happiness. And when you make others happy, you are loved. There is a close bond between love and happiness. How does listening help you in being loved and being happy? This is the subject of our discussion in this essay. The feeling that you are being loved brings you satisfaction. It enhances your self esteem and results in happiness. When others care for you, you feel important and when they listen to you, you feel significant and elated which adds to your happiness. Same is true when you listen to them.

Let’s deal with the subject by considering the following 3 questions:               

What is good listening?

How does it help you to being loved?

How does it help you to be happy?

Question 1. What is good listening?

i)It requires you to put your agenda aside and totally devote to understanding and assimilating what is being said. You don’t listen to give a reply, but you just listen to understand. The moment you become keen to give a reply, your mind will start analyzing the speech from your own perspective. It will hinder your ‘objective’ understanding.

ii) Your attention should be fully in the present. There should be no thoughts about the past nor should you think about future.

iii) You need also to understand the body language of the speaker. And, this would include eye contact, posture, facial expression etc.

iv) Listening needs to be non-judgmental. You must not allow your likes and dislikes or personal prejudice to affect the meaning the speakers wants to project.

v) To be listened is so important for the people that many a times they will like to be heard rather than just granted the request what they requested.

vi) Active listening calls for you to listen about 80% of the time without interruption balance 20% of the time you may ask questions. This will indeed be an attribute of good listening.

vii) You need to make it known to the speaker that you are attentively listening. Thus, your nods with your head and words like ‘Yes’hmm ‘I see, I agree go                                                            long way to make be you an adept active listener.

viii) You will indeed enjoy your choice of active listening with the results that you will derive from the activity.

Question 2. How does active listening help you to being loved?

Now we can consider how listening actively makes others happy and make you in turn happy. They not only respect you but they love you if you actively listen to what they say.

The speaker feels that he/she are important when you carefully listen to them. They are reassured that you care for them. In turn they will care for you. The speaker thinks that they have some worthy ideas that is being expressed. And if you don’t listen to them with due attention, they will feel let down. But if on the other hand you not only listen but make it known that you have listened, the speaker will feel elated and happy and so will you be. Respect is always mutual, you have to earn respect. You have to make others happy to receive positive vibes making you happy in return.

Besides, better listening rids you of any bitter discussion. You understand that these are futile. Avoiding arguing, you also avoid bitterness which often is the result of trying to win an agreement. Active listening empowers you to hold your opinion without any offence. Because of your listening skills you are in a position to offer you opinion in a relevant manner. When your conversation with everyone becomes more meaningful, both of you enjoy it. Undoubtedly it brings happiness.  Exchange of ideas in such a situation brings about a lot of learning on both sides. Continuous learning raises your self –esteem which in turn makes you satisfied with yourself and be contented.

In fact, even between the spouses the problem starts with one not listening to other. One feels ignored and the problem starts. Left unattended, it grows into unmanageable differences. If we are unhappy at home or at the work, place life is messed up. Children too turn rebellious because they feel that parents don’t try to understand them. In the fast changing world today maintaining good relations is more challenging than ever. Yet good relationship is emanating from better understanding which forms the foundation of respect and love.

So if you want to be loved by others listen to them and make them feel that they are loved. If you want to gain happiness distribute the same among others who will gladly reciprocate.

Question 3. How does Good Listening help you to be Happy?

Every living being has physiological needs and safety needs. Living being must have food to live and is keen to care for life. That part is survival story. No happiness is involved. But, after survival needs are fulfilled, psychological needs come to the fore for human beings.

As social entities, humans want to have a feeling of belonging. It’s an experience that they belong to a community, a family or a group gives them a feeling of satisfaction. If they are alone and uncared their psychological craving of togetherness disturbs them.

Good listening helps you to have cordial relations with your family and friends. When you listen to them they come closer to you, they experience that you are giving them importance. By listening you reassure them of their significance. Inwardly they feel obliged to you as you are fulfilling their psychological need of heart to heart communication.

As we discussed earlier ability to express your ideas give a great satisfaction. However, you approve of your ability only if the listeners pay attention, understand and when possible and needed, take action. Likewise when you are actively listening, the speaker feels comfortable and satisfied with his skill of expression. In turn the process fosters better relation and love for each other. This is particularly important among the family members and close friends. Besides, when you speak, you say what you already know. No doubt it satisfies your need for expression, but you don’t learn anything new. But listening gives you the opportunity to learn what you don’t know. Learning gives a great satisfaction and enhances your self esteem. When your self esteem is high you wish to do greater things. Self-esteem enables you to venture on the new turf, start new project. Maslow’s theory of happiness is recognized as the last word in respect of this great wishful emotion-happiness.

“There is a clear distinction between love and respect or esteem. The ability to feel self-esteem springs from being embraced by families and communities”. Further, you become more creative which again contributes to your confidence.

Good listening also helps you to mitigate your personal ego. Because when you are full of ego, you tend to behave as if you know all and therefore you shun listening, much less active listening.

Actualization makes you really happy. And what is actualization? Maslow defines actualization as “what a man can be, he must be. This need may be referred to the desire for self-fulfillment. So discovery of self, understanding the capabilities and then doing what it takes to actualize yourself will grant the best results. But this cannot take place unless you are a good listener. Further, survey reveals that you tend to perceive situations, people and their reality more accurately if you are good listeners.

With all the advantages described above there remains no doubt that listening and its resultant process will make you one, who understands the world and the people better. This understanding will make you happier, more than your expectations.

Thanks for reading.



Seven Steps for Better Time Management


Time is the most invaluable resource available with everyone for his/her progress. This is one thing that has been equally distributed to everyone, rich or poor. It is necessary, therefore, to use one’s time with discretion and to draw the maximum advantage.

First step: the first step for effective time management is that you must understand how you use your time habitually. How much time you spend in each of your activities at home or at workplace. For this you must make your time log for three or four days. This means that right from the time you get up in the morning till you sleep at night whatever activity you do, you must note down in the slots of 15 minutes. Now you broadly understand distribution of your time in daily routine activities. You must then find out which are the areas where you can save time. For example if you take bath in 20 minutes, can you reduce it to 15 minutes etc.

Second step: Next you must analyze your routine activities as per the following classifications:

i)Tasks which are both urgent and important. In this category you will include all crisis situations like need to go to the hospital for sudden illness, the deadline projects or attend to some pressing projects which cannot wait.

ii) Activities which are important but not urgent. This will include your exercise or daily walk, eating food at proper time, building good relations with people who are important to you, exploring new opportunities, leaving new things etc.

iii) In next category we have activities which cannot wait, but these are also the ones which are not really important. This will include: making some calls, attending to some mail, meetings pressing matters without any real impact.

iv) The fourth category includes- trivia, time wasters, unimportant calls, needless surfing, watching any programme on the television. Besides, there could the many such activities which appear pleasant to you but which do not add value or do not have any significance to your goals.

Third step: The third step is to prioritize. Having understood the various classes of activities that occupy your time and their importance, it would the easy for you to set your priorities. It is important for everyone to identify which are important tasks and when these must be done. Form your experience and understanding of the time, you would be able to set necessary priorities everyday.

Fourth step: This comprises your ability to be assertive. Never say ‘yes’ if you want to say ‘no’. It is your time and you must use it. Don’t allow other to misuse your time depriving you of its just and proper use. When you use all of the your time judiciously, you will find yourself becoming more productive. Apart from achieving more each day, it will also help you to enhance your self-esteem.

Fifth step: This refers to your habit of expecting too much from yourself. You can do only as much as can be done by an individual in the time available and no more. You can of course stretch yourself which will enable you to do some more but only to a certain extent. Never stretch more. That will make you stressed. Your efficiency will go down and the quality of work will suffer. You must do only one thing at a time. Multitasking, in fact, reduces your ability and performance. You must be in a position to perform different tasks, but only one at a time.

Sixth step: The next step again represents your habit of being self-aware at all the time. You must never loose track of what you need to do at any given time vis-a- vis what you are doing. Being busy in unimportant tasks is no business at all. If you are not always self ware your many led to be engaged in unimportant activities. This is sheer waste. Self-awareness will always keep you focused and direct your efforts towards achieving your goals.

Seventh steps. Last but not the least, you must write a ‘to do’ list in the morning, every morning. By practice you will immediately be able to set priorities of your tasks, and also allot adequate time for finishing these tasks satisfactorily. There, you need to provide some buffer because inspite of your best efforts, there would be unexpected disruptions. The additional time provision will avoid frustration as the end of the day. At night, you will need to write your journal. This will describe all your activities and the outcome. The journal will show you that there is some lesson that you learn each day. The lessons learnt will enable you not to repeat mistakes that you might make.

Thanks for reading.





Seven Steps to Productivity And Happiness


Enhancing personal productivity is very important, today. How do we go about enhancing personal productivity?  What is the definition of personal productivity? We will deal with these and the related questions.

Time has been equally distributed to everyone. Two brothers, both born in the same family do not share the same success.  Both of them start there independent enterprises at same time. Let us assume that the prospects in both the fields that they enter are the same. They have received same amount of capital from their father. Ten years down the line one of them become a business tycoon while the other struggles for survival. How does this drastic difference take place? The prime answer among others is difference in productivity.

So, productivity is extremely important.

Now, let us try to define happiness. Simply said, if you have work to do and someone to love, and clear conscience, you will be happier than those who lack. Abraham Lincoln once said that you are as happy as you decide. That means happiness is a choice. Happiness is not a goal but a bye product. In spite of this being so, in today’s competitive environment you cannot be happy by your choice alone. You have to be productive. You have to show that you’re contributing to the society. If you are working efficiently for a company, you are contributed to its growth. Your feeling that you are an important part of the organization which is growing brings you happiness.

How to improve your personal productivity? Given below are some of the suggestions which will go a long way to make you more productive.

  1. Have a strong desire to succeed in what you are doing. If you are doing something you love and are passionate about, strong desire will emerge by itself. But if you don’t like your job and you have no other choice, start liking it. It is possible. But it requires consistent repetitive affirmations. Certainly, it will happen
  2. Better productivity requires better management of time. Often, too much time is wasted in thinking what will happen ‘if I don’t succeed’. Surely, havens will not fall. Mistakes and failures are a part of life and we must gracefully accept these. Then, you have to identify what are your other time wasters. A time log and review will enable you to make a list of many items who are enemies of your time. Kill them one by one.
  3. Set your own time limits. Work has is strange habit of extending itself to the available time. Don’t allow this to happen. Decide and keep a tab on the time you spend on your routine matters. Consistent efforts to improve your efficiency will result in substantial saving of time.
  4. Don’t ever pursue perfection. Perfection is never achieved. Only nature can be perfect but no human being. Nor any of the projects, big or small can boast of perfection. There will always be room for improvement. If you have achieved jumping a particular height, raise the bar. This process in turn will improve productivity.
  5. Study your optimal span of attention. If you are working on a project which is stupendous and difficult, allot a particular duration of time which is the span of your concentration. And then, have a break. Remember the economic law of diminishing returns. There is no use to fight against yourself. It never helps.
  6. Try to be proactive but you should never be reactive. Thus if you have received unpalatable massages by email or verbally don’t react. Further, never enter into an argument and take it personally.  We must remember, “If you win an argument, you lose a friend”. More importantly, it consumes your limited resource- your time.
  7. Last but not the least, minimize interruptions. If you are working on a project which requires an undivided attention, cut yourself off from all distractions. Provide a particular time to reply to all your messages. Instead of receiving calls, most of the time, keep your mobile on a message mode. You can always respond immediately, if the message was of a very important nature.

The above seven steps will improve your personal productivity substantially. You will be happy because you are performing better. It will enhance your confidence and your self-esteem, which in turn will bring you greater happiness.

Thank you for reading.





How to Achieve Success 2


You have written down your specific goals and created a strong desire to achieve these. You must now find out what could be the possible roadblocks in your efforts/actions to achieve your goals. You will find that apart from outside reasons beyond your control, many of the problems have an origin in your own personality. Just consider the following to check if any of these maladies have been inflicting you:

Fear of Rejection

Often we find that hesitation to take required action occurs because of fear of rejection. If any of your action concerns other person/persons, you may be fumbling to act because of fear. Fear that others will reject or disapprove your action. So the action is stopped before it begins. This is a serious roadblock which affects the progress of achieving your goals in almost all aspects that we have enumerated in my previous post. There are specific techniques of personality correction which we will discuss later in the following chapter. Let us first identify

and define these impediments.


Of all the roadblocks in your progress, fear of rejection is the worst. It does not allow you to take any action that you may be ready to take. Inaction breeds utter lack of confidence. It reduces one’s ability to focus on the task ahead. As a result efficiency to do anything goes down. In turn there is loss of self-esteem. You consider yourself good for nothing. The question is how to overcome this devastating fear of rejection. Just consider the following words of wisdom to understand what you might be doing to yourself harboring this fear in your personality:

  • If you hold back your feelings because you are afraid of getting hurt, you will get hurt anyway.
  • Rejection doesn’t mean that you are not good enough. It means other person to whom you have made an offer has failed to understand the significance of your offer. It is never your loss.
  • A boy once proposed to a girl. She rejected. He was not sad. His friends asked him how were that he was not said. The boy replied, “Why should I feel sad? I have not lost someone who loved me, but only one who didn’t. But she has lost someone who loved her!”
  • Remember that everything you want is on the other side of fear.
  • Strength does not come from what you can do. Strength comes from overcoming the things that you once thought you could not do.
  • Just say to yourself that you want it more than you are afraid of.
  • See what fear stands for :

F – False

E – Evidence

A – Appearing

R – Real


  • And finally I must repeat what I read in a book about success. There are eleven principles of success and these are:













Hope the above quotes may be enough to convince you never to be afraid of rejection.

Thanks for reading.

What is Personality?

Personality comprises understanding self, fixing one’s goals, physical and mental health and various other facets of the person as seen by himself/herself and as seen by others. Indeed, understanding personality is not easy. But it is extremely important. It is important for your success. More importantly it helps you to achieve happiness.

What is personality

Understanding self

Each one of us must sit down and contemplate about life’s significance. It’s a kind of vision statement which one must clarify to himself/herself. The act of contemplation on significance will always help you to adopt and maintain a proper prospective.

self understanding1

Specifying Your Goals

By and large everyone has wishes. But these are not specific desires. Wishes become desire only when you specify your goals. Wishes do not allowed you to focus and take actions needed for achievements. These wishes often times remain wishes. Further unrealized wishes erode self esteem. It is imperative therefore to write down clearly on your goals. Goals would state the time frame goals should also clarify how you plan to achieve. Its only when you make a practical plan that you can pursue your goals.


Physical and Mental Health

First on the list of your goals should be good health. One can achieve physically good health by taking care of food, exercise and sleep. Human body is made to last for about 100 years. So we need to use all the faculties with discretion. We must not over use, under-use, but strike a good balance and keep on becoming more effective. Mental health is even more important. It refers to your thoughts, your behavior and your attitude towards others. It also refers to your attitude towards life.

physcial & mental health

Good Communication Skills are Critical

We all communicate right from the time we are able to speak. In fact babies start communicating immediately after birth. As we grow the social considerations keep on shaping our communication skills. Besides the influence of people around, parents, teachers, friends and others we meet also create an impact. We can develop and maintain good communication skills only with regular review of our ability regarding communications.

good communication

Application of Mind

Application of mind enables you to analyze any situation. It enables you to review your performance even in challenges. In fact, human sufferings imparts great life’s lessons One should be willing to learn these lessons. Knowledge acquired through reading books, attending training programs and interacting others play an important role. One should never be judgmental. However it’s necessary to apply mind and to form opinions about anything that concerns us. This process helps us to become more decisive to pursue our goals.

application of mind1

Thanks for reading.

You may like to join our 2 day workshop on PowerPacked Personality. Please go through the details.


Enemies of Happiness – Attachment.

You like something, you are attached. You believe a creed you become attached etc. Likewise you become attached to your possessions, your house, your car, and things like that. However attachment does not lead you anywhere. It’s necessary that you identify the reason for attachment and then decide to pull yourself out.

be friend yourself

Change is the law of nature. Everything that belongs to this earth must change. And you should accept these changes as a part of life. Therefore, wherever you get attached to, you are likely to be unhappy due to possible loss of the attached thing, person or place. Stop fearing the loss. Some risk is always there in life; no one can avoid all risks. I would go one step further to say that taking some risk is necessary for your growth.

be your friend

In the circumstance it is best not to be attached to anything. You should be prepared for change as they say change is the only thing which is constant. Except that, everything else changes. And just because we have decided to be happy; we propose to defeat all the enemies of happiness, we must upgrade ourselves. We must not harbor attachment in our mind.

Start loving yourself. Have lot of respect for your person, for your capability and for your skills. This will lead to greater self esteem. This will also motivate to hone your strengths.

Learn to let go of an attachment to feelings. There is no doubt that emotions are powerful. It is difficult to control emotions. But constant efforts to empower your personality will definitely enable you to control the negative feelings.


Thanks for reading.

Enemies of Happiness 2

Yesterday I had talked about 8 enemies of happiness which resides in human’s body or soul. I had detailed 4 out of these that is anger, fear, jealousy and indecision. If you have contemplated as suggested, am confident that you would have found sufficient relevance of this discussion. Today I shall talk about attachment, hesitation, procrastination and greed. These are also happiness spoilers. Greed if goes unrefined, can cause disaster.

Attachment: Bhagwad Gita advises that any human should not be attached to anything. By attachment I mean you should never have such proximity that separation to that particular object may cause distress. Change is the law of Nature. Everything changes. These changes are bound to bring some objects (including people) close to you and some other away from you. In both situations you have to maintain your poise realizing that this is how life is. It was like this. It is so now. And it will remain the same in all times to come. So for our own happiness we can start practicing non attachment.


Hesitation: Hesitation for anything must be avoided. Your expression is important. If you hesitate to express or to take any action, the opportunity lost will never come back.


Procrastination: It is malady which inflicts some of us. Postponing tasks or decisions do not allow one to grow. Self esteem is lost and guilt inside the mind grows. Therefore it’s best to eradicate the habit of procrastination.


Greed: Greed grows like cancerous cells. Ambition is not greed so therefore both these terms must be understood in their proper perspective. Without ambition you tend not to set your goals and follow them. But greed of any kind mostly takes human to a disasters end. In life, we have example of Hitler. In literature, we have example of Macbeth. The character of Macbeth in Shakespearean play by the same name is nothing but an embodiment of Greed. So banish Greed, altogether!


In my next posting I shall talk about ‘Enemies of Happiness’ outside.

Thanks for reading.